The recent dormitory fire tragedy at Utumishi Girls Academy that claimed the lives of 16 schoolgirls has reignited debate on parental responsibility, discipline, and the moral upbringing of children, with education stakeholders calling for renewed collaboration between families and schools.
Speaking during the Education Day celebrations at Kitengela Furaha Children’s Academy, the institution’s Director, Dr. Denise A.O. Kodhe, challenged parents to become more involved in the lives of their children, warning that many families are increasingly becoming disconnected from the very children they are raising.
Dr. Kodhe said the responsibility of instilling discipline, character, and moral values rests primarily with parents and should not be delegated entirely to teachers and learning institutions.
“Parents should remember that learning institutions are not dumping grounds for indisciplined children. The responsibility of raising children begins at home, and schools only complement the values that have already been instilled by families,” said Dr. Kodhe.
He noted that while schools play a critical role in shaping young minds, parents remain the first and most influential teachers in a child’s life.
According to Dr. Kodhe, the increasing cases of indiscipline in schools point to a deeper societal challenge where many parents, consumed by career pursuits and economic pressures, have little time to understand their children’s emotional, social, and behavioral development.
“As parents, let us avail ourselves more for our children so that we can know and understand them better, and for our children to do likewise. Many parents have become strangers in their own families because they are busy chasing money and career pathways,” he observed.
Lessons from the Utumishi Girls Fire
Dr. Kodhe referenced the tragic fire at Utumishi Girls Academy in Gilgil, allegedly started by fellow students, saying the incident should serve as a wake-up call to parents, schools, government agencies, and all stakeholders in the education sector.
“It is really sad that sixteen young girls lost their lives when their dormitory was set on fire by fellow students. Learning institutions, parents, governments and other stakeholders all have a role to play in ensuring the safety of learners,” he said.
He emphasized that the tragedy was not an isolated incident, noting that Kenya has witnessed several school fires and cases of student unrest over the years.
The educationist argued that understanding a child’s character and behavior before admission into secondary schools could help institutions identify potential challenges early enogh.
“Besides examination qualifications, the Ministry of Education should consider introducing another criterion that focuses on character and behaviour before admitting students to schools,” he proposed.
Parents Know Less About Their Children Than They Think
One of the highlights of the Education Day event was a series of interactive sessions involving parents and learners. The exercises revealed a surprising trend: many children appeared to know far more about their parents than parents knew about their children.
According to Dr. Kodhe, some parents struggled to identify basic aspects of their children’s lives, including their favourite meals, closest friends, hobbies and how they spend their free time.
“Children demonstrated that they understand their parents better than the parents understand them. Many parents do not know what their children like, who their friends are, or what they do when left on their own,” he noted.
Education experts at the event warned that such gaps in parent-child relationships can create emotional distance, making it difficult for parents to detect behavioral changes, mental health challenges, or harmful influences affecting their children.
A Community School Giving Hope to the Vulnerable
The event was held at Kitengela Furaha Children’s Academy, a community-based institution that provides education opportunities to disadvantaged and vulnerable children in Kitengela and surrounding areas.
The celebration brought together educators, parents, learners, and community leaders to reflect on the role of education in shaping responsible citizens.
Among the guests were Dr. Dinah Ewuradjoa Ogara, a lecturer at Technical University of Kenya, Community Capacity Building Initiative (CCBI) Director Sixtus Odumbe, and Daisy Ondimu Kisimbo.
The leaders collectively underscored the need for stronger partnerships between homes, schools and communities in nurturing responsible and productive future generations.
A National Call for Action
As Kenya continues to grapple with cases of school unrest, bullying, substance abuse and mental health challenges among learners, Dr. Kodhe’s message resonates beyond Kitengela.
His call is simple but profound: parents must reclaim their place at the centre of their children’s lives.
In an era dominated by busy work schedules, digital distractions and economic pressures, education stakeholders say rebuilding strong family bonds may be one of the most effective tools in raising disciplined, responsible and emotionally stable young people.
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